Clue at 40

I love this movie so.. much... flames... flames... on the side of my face...

Welcome back, everyone, to another edition of “An Old Man Writing About an Old Movie.” I’m your host, Old Chokin’ Matt Dursin. As usual, please like and subscribe, if you haven’t already.

I’ve often written about my time working in a video store in the 90’s, but before I was an employee, I was just a lowly customer there (probably the kind I would have hated as an employee, but that’s not saying much. I hated most of the customers). We were actually regulars there in the 80’s and 90’s, but not really because I was a movie buff or anything. More because I liked renting the same movies over and over. Granted, I was just a child, and I didn’t really like to do anything new. I didn’t even eat an egg until I was in my late 20’s.

As I mentioned in my last post, my parents eventually bought a second VCR for the home, both so my mother could watch tapes she rented in their bedroom, and also so I could record the movies that I rented and not spend money renting the same movies over and over again. And it worked, because even though VCR’s were probably $300 at the time, it paid for itself after I amassed a huge library of my favorite movies. Remember that FBI warning at the beginning of all movies back then? Pffft. (They can’t still get me for that, can they? I was a minor.)

One of the first movies that I remember recording was Clue, the comedy based on the famous board game. I don’t actually remember how I came to see it, but someone must have recommended it because of the game, and even though I was so averse to trying anything new, I gave it a whirl. I might have also been lured by Doc Brown being in it.

For those unaware, the movie features a brilliant ensemble cast, including Christopher Lloyd (a.k.a. Doc Brown), Eileen Brennan, Tim Curry, Martin Mull, Michael McKean, Lesley Ann Warren, Madeliene Kahn, and a couple others, including a brief cameo by Jane Wiedlin of the Go-Gos. At the time, I was only aware of Chritopher Lloyd, but for many years all of the other cast members were known by me only as their role in this movie (i.e., “That’s Wadsworth from Clue!”) The movie was notable at the time for its three endings, and when it screened in theaters during its initial release, audiences didn’t know which one they would get. It was an interesting ploy to, I assume, try and get people to see it more than once, but Gene Siskel actually called it a gimmick in his review, and in fact concluded that the movie needed, “three different middles rather than three different endings." Harsh, but props on the zinger.

Unlike old Gene, I find that the great thing about this movie is that it’s layered enough that, at ten years-old, I loved the broad comedy, like Wadsworth and Col. Mustard bantering back-and-forth about whether there is anyone else in the house (“No meaning yes?”), or when the candlestick falls and bonks Wadsworth on the head. As an adult, I like it for the more sophisticated humor (well, slightly more. Most of the jokes hit you on the head like a wrench or a lead pipe.), like the repeated line that “Communism is just a red herring.” At ten, I don’t think I knew what either of those things were, but as an adult, I can’t hear either term without thinking of this movie.

It was not just the writing of the dialogue, however, it was also the delivery. According to my research (a quick perusal of the movie’s Wikipedia page), director and co-writer Johnathan Lynn had his actors watch the screwball comedy HIs Girl Friday as inspiration on how to say the lines. And it shows. Sometimes actors back in the day learned their craft by playing to cheap seats, but no matter the era, comedy is all about timing, and the lines in Clue are delivered with the utmost precision. For example, during dinner, when Yvette, the sexy French maid (who is even wearing a French maid outfit? On-the-nose or a simple ode to the stereotype? You decide.) says that she will keep something warm for the late-arriving Mr. Boddy, Miss Scarlett asks, “What did you have in mind, dear?” A funny line, no matter how old you are, but also an interesting one because we learn later that Miss Scarlett actually runs an escort service in Washington, D.C., and Yvette actually worked for her. Was she digging at her own employee? Or is it possible that Yvette didn’t even know who her boss was, as in another later scene, the gang are looking at the negatives of photographs of Col. Mustard availing himself of Miss Scarlett’s services, with Yvette in fact, and Miss Scarlett asks if Yvette would like to see them. Yvette responds, in her French accent “Non, merci. I am a lay-dee.” Miss Scarlett replies, “Oh? How do you know what kind of pictures they are if you’re such a lay-dee?” Side-note: Both Child Me and Adult Me love Miss Scarlett, and the rumor was that Carrie Fisher was originally cast in the role, but she checked into rehab before filming began. Lesley Ann Warren is awesome, but it would have been cool to see Princess Leia play such a sexpot.

I am touting the writing a lot, but I can’t talk about this movie without bringing up one amazing moment that can’t be attributed to the script: the oft-memed “monolog” performed by Madeline Kahn, after admitting that she killed Yvette, which according to our friendly Wikipedia article, was improvised by her:

It kind of doesn’t make sense, except to explain how much she hated Yvette, but it’s still genius.

I also feel I need to discuss the characters a little bit. Since the crux of the movie is all about blackmail, virtually all the characters are flawed, to say the least, since they did something that warrants paying a blackmailer. And even the cop that shows up was taking bribes from Miss Scarlett in exchange for his silence about her business. Professor Plum was a disgraced psychiatrist who had affairs with his female patients, Col. Mustard, as mentioned, hired some of Scarlett’s escorts, Mrs. Peacock was also taking bribes to deliver her Senator husband’s vote, and Mrs. White, although she denied it, apparently killed five of her husbands. All pretty bad people (although Mrs. Peacock would probably fit right in in today’s political climate), and yet they are all rather endearing in a way. Because it is a comedy, it’s ok to look at all of these horrible sins and kind of shrug them off. Only Mr. Green, the closeted homosexual, is free from any wrong-doing, only paying the blackmailer so that he wouldn't lose his job. The hilarious thing is Mrs. Peacock’s reaction of shock and horror when he confesses to them why he is there, as if being gay is worse than a doctor screwing his patients or murdering five men. I wish I could say it was a different time, but the way things are going now…

As much as I love this movie, and it has what some would consider a cult following, it also has a rather disappointing (to me, anyway) critics’ score of 72% on Rotten Tomatoes, with the critic’s consensus stating, “this farce's reliance on novelty over organic wit makes its entertainment value a roll of the dice.” I’m a film guy, and I know that Rotten Tomatoes takes an aggregate of critical reviews, and AI wrote that consensus, but still, I’m not even sure I know what “organic wit” refers to. The wit is why this movie is much fun to watch. It’s what makes these terrible people so likable. The gimmick of the three endings does seem to divide people, but when watching it on video, and everywhere it has streamed and even the screenings I have been to over the years, the ending that counts is the final one, where every character murdered someone. There is even a title card that reads, “But here’s what really happened…”

I get that you may feel robbed if you saw an ending that you didn’t like in 1985. I mean, imagine if you saw an alternate ending of Avengers: Infinity War where different people died, or Thor went for the head and killed Thanos? It would be weird, and yeah, it would seem like a gimmick to sell tickets. But Clue only made $14.6 million at the box office anyway, so the few people that saw it are probably not losing sleep over it now. And I definitely appreciate a movie that is written so well that it can support three plausible endings (even though the last one is The One.) They probably could have had six endings, since there were six characters, plus Wadsworth, who was mostly the audience proxy by the end. In fact, the ending has to be one of my favorite movie endings of all time, when Mr. Green reveals that he’s actually an FBI agent, and then delivers the famous line, “I’m gonna go home and sleep with my wife,” before “Shake, Rattle & Roll” by Bill Haley & his Comets plays over the closing credits.

Classic.

Regardless of where people stand on it, Clue came out in the mid-80’s, a time when there were a lot of boob flicks and Police Academy-style movies. I don’t mean to sound elitist, but to me, it stood way above those. Yes, it had its share of sex jokes and bawdy talk, but there were other kinds of humor, too. The kind that can still make me laugh after countless viewings over forty years. Comedy can be a tough sell, and everyone likes what they like, and I happen to like Clue. Apparently, there have been talks of remakes for years, with big names like Ryan Reynolds and Gore Verbinski involved, and as of last April, the film rights are at Sony/Tristar. I actually hope a remake never gets made. Remakes are a mixed bag as it is, and with this concept, it might be too predictable. Anyway, I think it was done to perfection the first time.

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No Meaning Yes?